Well, it is the end of 2010. It has been quite a year....full of fun.

It was the year I started using HCG. I was very successful on round 1. I lost 17 lbs and have kept 10 of those off since July. Very excited about that.

But....I still have about 30 to go.

For Christmas, I got a Wii Fit, with a Biggest Loser workout game. I LOVE this. I love having the way to track my workouts, and having workouts designed. I am hoping to keep working with this.

But...the bigger deal....I started my load today to star the HCG drops again. YAY me! I have gotten ill the past 3 times I attempted to start the drops. But I am hoping that this time is the one that works!

So, here is Round 2, Phase 1, Day 1 (R2P1D1) Wish me luck!

HCG will work for me!

I have made a choice. A decision really. One that I know I can manage. One that will take will power and resolve.

Here it is.....

HCG WILL WORK FOR ME!!

I have decided that. I made that choice. It will work. It will help. It will get me to where I want to be.

How? Well, that is the hard part, but I know I can do it. It is all up to me. Not to anyone else. Not to the food. Nothing. It is MY decision. MY choice. And I am determined to make it work.

Here is my plan:

I WILL pack food to get thru the day.

I WILL take my vitamins.

I WILL Drink my water.

I WILL NOT cheat.

I WILL NOT cheat.

I WILL NOT cheat.

That will do it. Just those simple steps. Hmmm.....I can do it!!

Another Day

Well, another day, done. Things are looking better!! I love positive days. It helps me realize that I CAN do this.....I CAN!!

So, some things that help me thru the day...

Coffee with stevia. This keeps me from eating most days, mainly because I don't like the taste of most foods with coffee.

Life Water (the zero calorie ones)

anythign with hot sauce...shrimp, chicken, crab meat

Eggs and fake eggs

green beans

gum made with xylitol

Now I am looking for activity...things to get me motivated. First up...the basement....it has got to get done, and it will keep me out of the kitchen. This is important, since the kitchen is where the food is, and if you read my last post, you know how I feel about food :)

Hoping to share some recipes tomorrow!

addiction

Hi...I am Shanda, and I am a food addict....

Yep..can't get away from it. It is everywhere! Breakfast, lunch and dinner, someone serves food. There is even food available at other times. Snacks, coffee group, book clubs, sporting events, grocery stores. You name it, there is food.

It is hard, when you love food as much as I do, to get away from it. There is no "quitting cold turkey". You can't just avoid it. Not only is food everywhere you go, you actually NEED it to live.

Now of course, I could be addicted to salad, and carrots, and fruits. That would be so cool! I would crave an apple in the morning, look forward to a salad full of veggies at lunch, and have that lovely lean meat and healthy veggies at dinner. Snacks would be well-timed, well-planned fruit salads and healthy protein.

Alas, it doesn't work that way. I love french fries, chicken wings, potato chips, chocolate...ahh chocolate. Cured meats like bacon, sausage, and salami. CHEESE! Man, I could eat cheese all day long! This is the curse of the addiction.

There is still no way to avoid it. It is all about will-power. And, I have none ;) If it is here, I will eat it. Ahh..the smell of bacon. Who on earth can resist that?

Two steps back, one step forward

Hmmm...with this rate, I am in trouble!

Day one went well, until I baked cookies. Why you ask? Because that is what stay-at-home moms do!! LOL! I had to try a couple......

IT was one backslide, but it affected me. Oh, that and the one glass of Bourdeaux I had with dinner.

Yesterday...not even close. I ended up at the hospital most of the day with my sister in law and family as she had her little girl :) Of course, I did not have my drops with me, and I was gone all day :( I ate fairly well, and not a lot, but really, hospital food :(

Today is a crazy day. Up at 5am to take Adam to scouts for the day. Then I have to drive Derek to Lafayette for a gym clinic. Brad will need a ride to BOulder later. Luckily, being in the car so much, I won't eat!! That will help. But I will be tired tonight and that could be dangerous. I will be back!!!

OK...I can deal with the chocolate chip cookies, the yummy summer sausage, and cheese....but the bottle of bourdeaux will do me in tonight!!!!

Starting over....again

This should be the name of my blog. I am so bad at keeping track of things, but have decided that I need to have this outlet for moments just like the one I am having now.

So...to backtrack. I finished my first round of HCG in July. I was very successful. I lost 17 lbs total. I have gained 4 of that back. Not too bad. I made it through maintenance, and maintained my weight within 2 lbs until I did my gorge days.

So, for the purposes of this blog, I WILL be posting my actual numbers. I like accountability. I like numbers. And, honestly, if I could weigh in front of people, I would do better. So....turn your head if you don't want to see :)

I currently weigh 166.8. For those who can't do the math, I started the journey at 178. I am a solid size 14. Not where I want to be.

Ok..back to regular programming. I have had a GREAT day. This is Day 1 of my VLCD (very low calorie diet). So far, so good. Mornings are EASY! I can go all morning with my coffee, and be happy. Lunch was yummy! Crabmeat with hot sauce and green beans.....very good. Now...after 2pm....I want to eat. I am NOT hungry. I just want to eat. I just want to eat. No real reason. I haven't had any of my fruit today, with the hopes of saving it for when I get to this point. So, I plan to try an apple.

This tells me that I really eat for no reason. Boredom I guess, although I have been busy all day. Reward, maybe? For cleaning all the bathrooms? Everyone KNOWS that I deserve an award for getting 4 bathrooms clean when I have 3 men in the house ;)

But...I will be strong. Thus, the reason for the blog. I really think sometimes I will have well thought out messages, about my well-organized and productive days. However, those who know me well know that I will ramble on with no good information as well. (see this post for evidence).

When I am feeling the want to eat (not a need....we shall call it a want), I will blog. I also have my craft room set up, and can work in there. OF course, I can always clean and organize, but I am usually trying to avoid that. So, the blog will be my lifeline, my support. And anyone out there who is insane enough to follow will be there too.

Wish me luck!!!

Long while

I am so bad at this blogging thing. It has been quite a while. We did go on vacation, and other fun summer things :)

To date, I am down 18 lbs. It feels great. I have been off the drops for 3+ weeks now, and have added in some starches, etc. I feel great.

Right now I do plan to do another round. I am not sure when I plan to start, but I am thinking I will start at the end of July. I was goign to start when the boys go back to school, but I have been offered a job, and that would start at the same time. I think I need some time under my belt if I do that. It is a big decision, and I am not sure yet what I will do....

Phase 2 days 9 and 10

I had 2 great days. I stayed on track, eating what I was supposed to, drinking tons of water, green tea, coffee. TONS!!

Wednesday, due to what we now call "the donut incident" I was up .8. man. Talk about discouraging!!! It was a problem. I was down all day, but stuck to it.

Thursday, I was down .6. I had been hoping for more. but, it was a loss. A small one, but a loss. I decided to go with it.

On a more "personal" note, I did end up buying the smooth move tea and using in Thursday night. This diet does cause some issues in that area. I thought maybe that had something to do with the low weight loss I had been experiencing.

Friday morning is where I am now. I was down 1 WHOLE POUND today! That makes 10 lbs gone and I still have 2 weeks or so on the diet. I am not setting a for sure end date yet, because I want to see how I continue to do. My original plan was to stop on the 15th of June. That would be 3 weeks on, then I could start maintenance nad be well on maintenance on vacation. However, I am thinking of continuing thru the 22nd. That gives me one more week on HCG, and then we can do maintenance on vacation. I know that sounds silly, but I eat pretty well with Brad around. He really keeps me on task.

So now starts summer vacation and dieting. Movies, swimming, hiking, baseball games, etc. It will be tough, but I think I can do it. No, I know I can do it!

Phase 2 Day 8...a day late

Yesterday was NOT a good day. I was down .4 when I got up, for a total of 9.2. That felt good. I was ready for the day.

I went with the first graders on a field trip, where I had packed my own food. I did a great job of sticking to my diet...not straying. I did start to feel the beginnings of a cold coming on, so it was tough!!

We got back to the school to celebrate summer birthdays. I have a June boy so I was helping. There was cupcakes, cookies, ice cream wtih toppings and candy! It was a PARTY! I had a few strawberries but did really well. Had to go in and out of the lounge where there were cookies, donuts and sushi. this was torture.

On my 3rd trip into the lounge, I lost it...I had 1/2 a donut. Next trip..finished it. It was yummy...but gross at the same time. It just sat in my stomach like punishemnet.

I did good the rest of the day. I decided not to let this set me back. And it didn't. I was up a bit today... (.8) but have done great today! I have stayed on course for the day, have a great dinner planned, and will be back on track. I kind of expect a big loss tomorrow with the smaller amount of food, the more time on my feet and the gallons of water I have been drinking!!

Phase 2 Day 7

An official "weekend" day. Indy 500. Smores. Lots of temptations.

I am so glad my husband is so supportive. He is really helping me with not cheating! We watched the race with NO snacks....rare...as we would usually have chips, etc sitting all over the place.

I had no loss today. I am not sure why. I wonder if my vegetable intake at each meal is too much. I think if I still ahve no loss tomorrow, I will start weighing and counting all of my calories. Alos my meats are a challege. It is virtually impossible for me to weigh them raw, since I am cooking for a family. I am stuck on how to deal with that one.

Menu today:
coffee with stevia
apple
3.5 oz shrimp with hot sauce
celery
1 cup strawberries
3 egg whites + 1 egg
mushrooms

I have had a ton of water today, plus some iced green tea that I made...YUM!!! I think I will make more of that tomorrow. It was very yummy to drink :)

We had a lot of family time today, which is awesome! Derek got a new bike today. His birthday is in a couple of weeks, but we wanted him to have it so he could go ahead and ride with summer here. He loves it. He looks so little on it, but my baby is growing up!

Phase 2 Day 5

Today was incredible! I have been very concerned about the weekend...with the temptations of having fun with everyone. But, it has been great!

I have had tons of energy, lots of fun. I wasn't even hungry hardly at all today! I am even short a fruit today. My cravings are decreasing rapidly. Some things just don't even look good to me right now. I made Derek a cheeseburger tonight and did not even want it myself! Everyone had ice cream sandwiches...nope! I even have Hershey's chocolate bars in teh pantry for smores, and for once, I am not constantly thinking about them. It really is strange.

I have taken to carrying an apple with me anywhere I go, just in case. I think that apple is still in my car tonight!

My biggest accomplishment today was soda. At lunch, I decided that I would have some soda with my crab and asparagus. I got it out, (20 oz bottle) and started to drink it. I believe I drank less than 1/4 of that bottle, and put it back in the fridge for some water! Man..I used to be able to put away a 6 pack a day ;)

I even mowed most of the yard today. I plan to add in my walks tomorrow...15 minutes a day with Luci the dog.

Here is my menu for today! I was down .8 this morning for a total of 8.8 lbs lost since Tuesday (4 days!)

coffee with stevia
3.5 oz of crab meat
aspargus
2 melba snacks
3.5 oz of chicken
.5 cup of strawberries
spinach
vinagrette

That's it!!! And I am not hungry. I made a salad out of hte chicken/strawberries/spinach with a little chinese 5 spice on top. YUM!!

Phase 2 Day 4

Forgot to post again yesterday :) Sometimes I am just busy!

Today was the first day that I really didn't feel hungry. I was subbing, so I don't know if it was the plan or the fact that I was busy and distracted. If it was the 2nd, I have to find something to keep me that way as summer is fast approaching!

I did have a great day. Energy level was great, I wasn't hungry, I made a yummy dinner...grilled chicken with zuccini and mushrooms (I didn't eat the mushrooms). I made strawberry shortcake for dessert, but for me I made strawberries with stevia. They were yummy!!

I did have some sparkling water today, so I will have to see if that affects me. I fully expect this weight loss to slow down to .5 to 1 lb per day, although I have enjoyed watching the 2-3 lbs come off! I was down 1.6 for a total of 8 lbs since Tuesday! Very exciting.

Here is my food for the day:
coffee with stevia
lettuce
3.5 oz lean ground beef
pico de gallo
apple
1 melba snack
3.5 oz of grilled chicken
zuccini
strawberries

I am also drinking a ton of water...60-100 oz a day. Some of it is life waters, some is regular. I am not huge on plain water so I have to force that down every day...usually at dinner.

Phase 2 Day 3

Today was a great day! I felt really good for most of the day. I woke up down 1.8, for a total of 6.4! What a great feeling.

I did tell Brad about the diet today. I have started and stopped so many that I was not sure how he would react. He was very excited for me and supportive of me. He is more than willing to eat with me, and supplement as needed. I was so excited.

I did have one moment today. I am so used to pigging out at night after the boys get home from school. Today, I was really craving a cheeseburger. Fortunately, I happened to have schwan's cheeseburgers in the freezer! I controled myself and had a strawberry and melba toast instead. I need to have some thing ready for that time..celery or something. It did feel so good to be in control!!

here is the menu for the day:
coffee with stevia
strawberry smoothie (1 cup strawberries, ice and water)
3.5 oz of crab with hot sauce
cucumbers
2 melba snacks
1 strawberry
1 melba snack (need to be prepared for afternoon munchies)
3.5 ounces of blue hake
asparagus
pico

Phase 2 Day 2

(forgot to do this last night!)

So, the results on the scale after the first day of the VLCD were amazing. I was down 4.6 pounds! WOO HOO! All day today, overall, I felt better. I spaced my food out a bit more, rather than waiting for big meals, I had several little snacks throughout the day.

HEre is my menu for yesterday (Tuesday)
Coffee with Stevia flavored drops – YUM!
Apple
Celery
3.5 oz of shrimp with hot sauce
Tea with splenda
Lettuce
Salsa
94% lean ground beef
Strawberries
2 melba snacks

My energy level overall was much higher. I enjoyed my food (shrimp dipped in hot sauce is yummy!) I was truly surprised that I didn't feel at all as hungry as the first day. I am sure that it will keep improving.

A big part of me wants to go exercise. However, I plan to wait until the weekend to add in my 15 minute walks. I want to make sure I have the eating under control before adding to it.

Phase 2 Day 1

The first 2 days were spent gorging....eating as much fat as I could. I had burgers, bacon, cheese, avocados, chips, cheese, etc. It was harder than you think.

Today was the first day of the Very Low Calorie Diet (VLCD). 500 calories a day. That's it. Here is what I had today:

Very Low Calorie Diet (VLCD)
Coffee/no creamer. Art. Sweetener
3.5 oz of grilled chicken
Lettuce
Salsa
Apple
Coffee with Stevia
3 egg whites/1 egg
1 WASA cracker
1 cup strawberries
Cherry tomatoes


I will admit...I am hungry. This is hard. This is not a quick, easy fix. It is a lot of work. Really hard. My friends swear that it gets easier after the first 2-3 days. I will see. Right now, I just wnat to go raid the pantry and eat everything. Dinner helped, but I want MORE!

My hope is that after this round, I can start exercising better, without so much weight, and can keep it off. I am also hoping that this helps me learn to eat healthier. With the few options, I would love to see myself choosing to eat fruits and veggies for snacks, and lean meats, smaller portions.

It is hard, I am hungry, but I CAN DO IT!

New Journey

So, yesterday I began a new journey. After speaking to several friends, and hearing about their success, I decided to try the HCG diet. I researched for days, spoke to my doctor, and went in with my eyes open. I know this diet is controversial, but I am really hoping to jump start my weight loss, with the plan being to go back to exercise and Weight Watchers once I am done.

For those not familiar, this diet involves taking HCG under the tongue 3 times a day, and eating a very low calorie diet for 3 weeks. (that is the time frame I am using for my first journey.) The first 2 days, (yesterday and today) are gorge days, where you eat alot. The thought is for the HCG to learn how much fat your body needs, and then when you enter the VLCD part, the HCG causes your body to release that fat to keep you feeling satisfied.

I will admit to some nerves at doing something this drastic. I know that some of you will tell me it is not smart, that I shouldn't be doing it. But for me, I needed SOMETHING. I need to see success. Eating right and exercising has done very little for me lately, so I just need to see that success. I am hoping once I lose some weight, exercising more intensely will be easier on my lungs, and my knees.

So, will share my journey here. Hopefully, this will help me stay on track, and keep my journey going.

Day Zero

I am calling this Day Zero, because this is my starting point. This is when I am making the choice to change. This is the day that I have decided will be the start of a new life, a healthy life. One that I can be proud of. One that my kids can be a part of.

Over the weekend, I had a couple of pictures taken. These pictures are the start. I noticed how absolutely large I have gotten over the past year. I have tried to hide it. I have tried to work around it. but, it is not working.

So that brings me to here. I am hoping that by writing down what is going on in my life, I will become more aware of my food triggers. I can stop and think about what I am doing. And I can make changes that will be good for all of us.

Goal 1 for tomorrow...Day 1: Food log. I will not be keeping my food log here, but will have a weight watchers log that I will be keeping. Weight Watchers has always worked for me. I have lost weight successfully on WW in the past and plan to follow this plan at this time.

That is it. One goal at a time.

I am not sure if anyone will read this, or if anyone wants to read this. but it should be a fun look at my life.

Today: It amazes me how much my kids' behavior affects what I eat!!! I can have total plans to eat healthy, and one child will act up, and bam...chocolate!!! I never knew that chocolate would improve behavior.....and it hasn't yet! The kids keep the same behavior, no matter how much chocolate I eat. But the glass of wine sure makes things better :)